Distressing news is everywhere, from TV screens to social media, and children are not immune to its impact. While adults may have coping mechanisms to process difficult stories, children and young people may struggle to understand or manage their emotions when faced with unsettling events without support.
As parents and caregivers, it’s crucial to have open and honest conversations with children about current events in a way that reassures and supports them. This guide provides practical suggestions on discussing difficult topics with children, helping them feel safe while also understanding the world around them.
Table of contents
- Understanding how children process news
- Creating a safe space for communication
- How to have age-appropriate discussions about the news
- Things to remember when talking to children about difficult subjects
- Managing wellbeing after talking to your child about the news
- When to seek additional support
Understanding how children process news
Children of different ages will react differently to distressing events. Young children may struggle with abstract concepts, which can make it easier for them to accept news at face value, but can make them susceptible to internalising their fears. Teenagers are likely to have a better understanding of the context surrounding news, making it easier to understand, but they also might feel more overwhelmed by the bigger picture. Some common reactions include:
- Fear or anxiety about their own safety or that of loved ones.
- Confusion or misinterpretation of events.
- Sadness or distress over injustice and suffering.
- A sense of helplessness or anger.
Recognising these emotions and validating them is an important step in supporting your child.
Creating a safe space for communication
It can be difficult talking to children about negative things happening in the world around them, and it’s understandable that you may feel apprehensive about approaching the topics covered in the news. The first step is ensuring that the conversation is had at a time and place that makes the child comfortable and that they are supported throughout. Some suggestions for creating a safe space are:
- Find a time when the child will not be distressed or when news could impact other areas of their day. For example, have the conversation after school rather than before so that they are not distracted from schoolwork and don’t have to be separated from you immediately afterwards.
- Talk in a place that is familiar and secure where you won’t be interrupted. If your child may be upset by the news it is probably better to talk to them about it at home where they can have your complete attention.
- Think about who is best to be around for the conversation. If you have multiple children, would it be better to deliver the news separately to suit their individual needs or as a group where they can discuss together? Are there other trusted adults who could help with the conversation?
How to have age-appropriate discussions about the news
It’s important to tailor discussions to your child’s age and maturity level. Some topics are not appropriate to discuss in-depth with younger children and some details may need to be left out to prevent distress. You’ll likely have the best idea of what your child is able to hear or how much you’re happy to tell them, but a useful guideline is:
- Young children (under seven): Use simple language, reassure them that they are safe, and avoid all graphic details. Find ways you can compare news to situations that are familiar to them where possible to help them understand.
- Older children (7-12): Offer factual explanations while encouraging questions. Figure out what they have already heard and help them tell between reliable and unreliable sources. They’re likely to be more interested in details so it may be a good time to discuss the harm of exposure to too many graphic details.
- Teenagers (13+): Engage in deeper discussions about societal issues, where they are getting their information, and ways they can have a positive impact.
Things to remember when talking to children about difficult subjects
To make sure that the conversation addresses your child’s concerns and reassures them, make sure you:
- Help them to understand why the conversation is important
Hard conversations must be had sometimes and, whether you’re trying to keep them safe, want them to be informed, or are addressing news they’ve approached you about to put their mind at ease, talk to them about why you want to have the conversation. - Listen to their concerns
It’s important that you’re not dismissive of your child’s worries. Support them by giving them time to speak and try to put their mind at ease without telling them their concerns are unnecessary. Show that you understand their feelings and that they don’t need to hide them. - Allow them space
If your child doesn’t want to have the conversation, it’s okay to give them time before approaching it again. Let them know that they can talk to you about it any time so that they can come to you with any questions or concerns later. - Be honest
While being mindful of what is age-appropriate to share, answer their questions honestly. If you don’t know the answer to a question, don’t make something up, you can look for the answer together or have another conversation later if necessary. If the situation is developing or could change quickly, be transparent about it but reassure them if anything changes, you’ll let them know. - Model responses
Children take their cues on how to react to news or manage their emotions from adults. It’s okay to be open about what feelings are normal but try to be calm when you have the conversation and avoid strong emotions such as anger, shock, or grief. - Reassure them about positive action
It’s important to let children know that there are adults who are working to keep them safe or help those who need it. Talk about the responses to what's happening in the world and the work people are doing. If the news is closer to home, let them know what support or protections are in place to keep them safe. Reassure them without lying. - Manage their exposure to further news
Talk to them about where they can find more information safely such as news sources aimed at young people. It may be worth discussing taking breaks from engaging with news content on social media when they’re overwhelmed or setting limits on how much time the news is on in the home.
Managing wellbeing after talking to your child about the news
While your child is processing what they’ve learned, especially when the news is negative, it’s important they are supported beyond talking. Some ways you can look after their wellbeing are:
- Finding positive outlets for their emotions such as art, music, baking, exercise, or play.
- Stick to comforting daily routines and avoid disruption to their environment as much as possible.
- Teach them relaxation techniques like deep breathing or mindfulness.
- Check in with them and ask how they’re feeling regularly.
When to seek additional support
When faced with distressing news, it’s normal for children to have an emotional response. In younger children this can manifest as extra clinginess while older children may be outwardly angrier or upset. It’s important to give your child time to process their emotions but, if you are overwhelmed by their response or believe that they are struggling more than they should, you may find it useful to reach out for support.
Some signs your child might need more support are:
- Persistent anxiety or nightmares
- Withdrawing from activities they usually enjoy
- Expressing extreme fear, sadness, or helplessness
If their distress continues, consider speaking to a teacher, counsellor, or mental health professional. You can learn more about signs your child is anxious here.